I'll give you a tip

Should you have a spare 34 million Euros lying around somewhere (check under your mattress), you could go to the international art fare, the TEFAF, in Maastricht (the Netherlands) and buy a real Rembrandt with the fascinating and very imaginative title ‘Portrait of a man with his hands in his side’, painted in 1658.

The same painting was sold in 2009 for a mere 23 million Euros.

The TEFAF will be held from March 18 to 23. Good luck with the negotiations. I should think you could knock a couple of millions off the asking price.